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Community Advocacy and Support by and for Young Mothers

It's ALWAYS painful

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acrane86's picture
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It's ALWAYS painful

Hello Ladies!! I am needing you insight and best ideas, as my doctor fails to think this is a problem....

Sex with my husband has ALWAYS hurt. From day one. I was a virgin when we both got together. The first time lasted for 2 hours!!! (and he is LARGE). We have had two children together. You would think that would make things a bit easier, but NOPE!!!! It honestly feels like he is hitting internal organs!!

I also have really, REALLY heavy periods. My tubes are clipped with Filshie clips, as well (those are NOT supposed to be there---I thought I was getting them cauterized and cut...I am actually very allergic to metals, but getting a doctor to take them out is next to impossible)

Any help or advise would be extremely appreciated!

momnipotent's picture
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Re: It's ALWAYS painful

Oh man that sucks! Can you see another dr, like at a walk-in clinic or something, and try to get a referral to an ob/gyn?

Is it possible he's hitting your cervix? I've had that happen before and it does hurt.

acrane86's picture
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Re: It's ALWAYS painful

I was referred to a gyn, and they did exploratory surgery. They did find some tube issues that they said they fixed, but things never really got better :( . Its all really frustrating!

momnipotent's picture
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Re: It's ALWAYS painful

I bet! Sorry to hear they couldn't help, that sucks.

MamaCaboose's picture
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Re: It's ALWAYS painful

That totally sucks - about the filshie clips in particular.

This may be too personal, but....
Is it just sex that hurts? What about fingers/toys/etc? Have you tried different positions so that he's not going in as deep? Or maybe you could be on top so that you can control the pace/depth and you could pull back when you get uncomfortable? Sorry that you're struggling with this.

chatterbox's picture
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Re: It's ALWAYS painful

Oh I like the process of elimination idea. Might be time to get karma sultra on it (if you haven't already obviously.)

adcaela's picture
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Re: It's ALWAYS painful

I think lots of lube and picking positions where you control the pace and depth are really good. It also sounds like a new doctor wouldn't hurt either.

mamamayhem's picture
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I'm going to get a wee bit

I'm going to get a wee bit graphic because we're all grown here.

SO and I have this same problem with certain positions and dependent on the stage of my cycle. Some positions I can't do at all, and some I just can't do when my cervix is low. I've found if I'm on the bottom, angling my vagina downward (possibly putting my hand on his abdomen to keep him from going too deep) that helps considerably. I've found being on top the worst thing during these times. My SO doesn't even know or notice I do these things, it definitely doesn't make it less enjoyable for him. To him, it's just another position.

If I were you, I'd avoid sex during the days when my cervix is low (it'll probably hurt no matter what, since your canal is shorter) and otherwise experiment with different positions, maybe even putting a pillow between the two of you close to your pubic bone.

MamaButterfly's picture
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Are you fully aroused before

Are you fully aroused before having sex? Lots of clitoral stimulation and hopefully even an orgasm BEFORE any penetration can really help. Also he shouldn't be "pounding" you if it hurts. Slow and gentle.