Community Advocacy and Support by and for Young Mothers

online dating

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chocobotkid's picture
Last seen: 5 years 5 months ago
Joined: 2004-05-06 18:01
online dating

i was recently convinced to sign up for okcupid. last nov i had 4 blind dates. they were all right, though nothing came of any of them.
i stopped checking my messages for a few months.
this week i went back and revived my profile.
anyone else try online dating? i'm not sold, but my sister is.
she met her current bf last summer and color me shocked if they are married within the next year. they are very happy.
i've been 'chatting' through the site's email with a few guys who all seem nice. but i don't want to make that next step to meeting. i'm too exhausted to start over again.

chatterbox's picture
Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
Joined: 2006-06-20 21:59
Re: online dating

I get the feeing to exhausted to start over again! I have met new friends via online sites but I am just so happy being independent and in control of my own life that I can't bare the thought of involving someone else in it.

mamamayhem's picture
Last seen: 4 years 2 months ago
Joined: 2004-05-07 18:38
Re: online dating

I went up and down with online dating. I was a member of matchdoctor for a while, until something really bad happened with one guy. After that I gave up "dating sites" completely, though I didn't stop meeting people online.

What I never liked about dating sites is that the only part of the person presented is the part they want you (prospective partner/date/one nighter/etc) to see. No one is talking if they aren't trying to hook up, so you lose a HUGE part of the person's personality.

(heteronormative language in this next paragraph because I dated men)

I know no one uses it anymore, but I met my SO through myspace. I liked that type of site better because you aren't just trying to meet someone, you're also friends with all your REAL friends. If a guy's profile goes on about how he likes walks on the beach and foreign food, one of his friends is free to comment his page and ask why he says that when the most foreign he's ever gotten is Olive Garden, and the closest to a beach he goes is the tiki bar down the street. Having that kind of self imposed check on what he says helps to know him better before you start talking.

After the bad thing happened to me, one of his friends who happened to be on matchdoctor also, messaged me berating me for not "giving it up." If the website had allowed me to see what kind of company he keeps, I wouldn't have gone out with him. He presented himself much differently on matchdoctor and in chat than he did when I met him, or what I learned from his friend.

If you want to try something a little different (maybe in addition to the dating sites), join pages on FB that belong to local restaurants and night spots in your area, and chat it up with the commenters. They should be local, and probably a bit more honest.

desertmom's picture
Last seen: 5 years 11 months ago
Joined: 2003-12-11 13:06
Re: online dating

I've used okcupid and plentyoffish and had great luck with okcupid and okay luck with pof. My current SO and I have been together for 2 years, we live together, and we met through okcupid so that is probably part of why I think it's so great :) I'm also still friends with a lot of people I've met when I was actively looking and dating. It can be a great experience, or really terrible depending on how well you make it work for you, imo.

I think you have to learn HOW to date online because it is so different. You have to figure out how to read people, what red flags to look for, how to know when they are full of bs, etc. I've met some really odd guys who I did not want to have anything to do with after meeting, friend or dating wise. I learned to be more picky the longer I did it. I also did some investigating on the individual I was planning to meet beforehand... I would always find a way to get their full name too.

adcaela's picture
Last seen: 5 years 3 months ago
Joined: 2005-12-09 01:23
Re: online dating

I did okc for a while and it was fun! I had some good dates, some meh dates, and nothing terrible. BUT, I am a really good reader of character from profiles and ignore 95% or more of my messages. I have a lot of clients come in to get tested after being date raped through OKC. Have your first date be something like coffee. In public. And time it before you are doing something other than going home.

I've made a lot of friends through OKC and a few people I dated for a bit, but my best friend met her soon to be wife through OKC and they are an awesome match. :)

momtobe19's picture
Last seen: 5 years 5 months ago
Joined: 2004-06-23 23:57
Re: online dating

I met my husband through a dating site and we have been together for five years and married for two :)

It can be creepy though.