girl-mom

Community Advocacy and Support by and for Young Mothers

really let's talk about it...

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missiy's picture
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really let's talk about it...

So going off the Alexasmom's post...

When did you find out about sex? What were you told?

Here's my story:

No one really told me about sex I figured out the concept through my own research in 5th grade. My mom did tell me things that made me feel very guilty about guys-- I have issues with it now even! When she found out me and my boyfriend were "doing stuff" that was not intercourse she told me all about how she had an abortion and how my dad didn't know about it and that it could happen to me and honestly at 13 years old that freaked me out. OR when I was actually being responsible and asking for birth control at 15 (in the sneaky way of saying how irregular my periods were and that a friend had to go on birth control for it) she like freaked out and was like are you having sex?!! so of course i lied.

I think there are much better ways to approach such conversations. I have not had sex since I had my son and that is partly because it makes me feel guilty anddd partly because I do not want to have another baby without the support of another parent.

I hope that I can talk about sex with my son in a much mroe relaxed laid back way that does not involve scaring the pants off (or on haha) him.

MamaButterfly's picture
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Re: really let's talk about it...

I don't remember not knowing about sex, and I think that's why I'm so comfortable with my sexuality. I probably was first talked to about it when I was less than two, when my mom was pregnant with my brother.

momnipotent's picture
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Re: really let's talk about it...

I don't remember how I found out about it either. Huh!

I had great sex ed in school though.

I'm hoping to be able to talk openly and honestly about sex (well, at age-appropriate levels), and acknowledge when I'm feeling uncomfortable or when I don't know the answer. I think if we have a close relationship in general then this will just be an extension of that.

Pintsized's picture
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Joined: 2009-09-08 17:34
Re: really let's talk about it...

I remember being in second grade when my mom handed me a book one night before bed and said, "here, read this". The illustrations are still burnt in my mind! Ah! It showed two very cartoonish men and women in the bathtub together (with wedding rings being dawned of course) and another picture of the man looking as though he were smothering the women in bed with his body... ah! And subsequently of course (don don don) the women got pregnant after the smother sex fest. The book showed the women in the hospital birthing a kid with her happy cartoon husband and we can all assume they lived happily ever after. (So realistic right?)

I know the book really freaked me out. Like what the fuck, no one ever said anything about sex in my house... it was shocking at the time for sure. What made it shocking was the secretive way in which I learned, the hush hush tone with which I was suppose to keep all I had just learned a secret. I was lead to believe for years that sex automatically = pregnancy. I believed sex was only for marriage and was only for making babies. Ghaa!

With my kid, I plan to talk about sex the way I talk about poop. It's a bodily function like any other as far as I'm concerned (ok, poopings not as fun as sex, but ya know..). Any questions or opportunities my kid gives me to talk about sex I will. I find that the best conversations with children start that way. I also don't wana encourage my child to not talk to others about sex (like my parents did). Instead, I'll tell her/him that a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about sex the same way a lot of people are fearful of two people of the same sex loving each other. Maybe cause of me, my kid will be "that kid" who is the sex educator on the play ground.. *shrug* there are worse things in life.