WOw that is a bit harsh. My Dad is similar though but not too that extent. He will avoid being seen by work colleagues who don't know about his unwed daughter who had not one baby but two and within the space of a year. I fully understand where you are coming from but I see it as his problem not mine. He never even told his own brothers (my uncles) that I had DD#1 and he got me too tell one of them by turning up at his house when one of them was there but conviently my dad was not. My uncle was extremely mad and pissed off at my dad for not telling him. Needless to say my dad hasn't learnt his lesson because this brother doesn't know about DD#2. He avoids telling people because he is scared what they will think of him and it is stupid that he lets what other people think get to him and just like your mum he absolutely loves his grandkids but this is just how he is and I don't know what I can do either. And I can't talk to him as he hates being put on the spot and isn't every open and he will be extremely embarrassed etc.

Wow that's hard. My parents aren't like that but I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry your mom feels she has to act like that. Have you tried talking to her about it? I hope things get better for you.

That is hard. I'm sorry that she's treating you this way. That's not fair. I was going to ask the same thing. ^^ Have you ever talked to her about it? Have you told her how you think this will affect T?

Oh, my god that is awful. I'm so sorry she treats you like that, she has no right to.
I think the first thing to do is sit her down about it. Maybe tell her that if that's the way she's acting, YOU are embarrassed to be around HER and you won't be going anywhere with her if that's how she's going to act in public.
Or, you could just call her out right there in the train. She wants to play the stranger game, walk up and introduce yourself to whoever she's talking to, and say "and here's her pretty little grandbaby!" But that might create more problems, so take that with a grain of salt. Definitely talk to her, and if you can, try and not go out with her if she wants to be such a jerk about the whole thing.

I'm sorry Hun.
I don't have much advice... but know that it's your Mom who lives in denial.... AKA in a lie..... and that SHE is the one who is missing out on both you and your daughter.

I'm sorry she does that to you and your daughter. That's absolutely wrong in so many ways. It is her problem, and you shouldn't have to hide yourself or your daughter. There's nothing for her to be ashamed of, you are an amazing person and an amazing mama with a wonderful little girl.

That is really really unfair, and i understand why you worry about how it will affect your daughter in the future. I know it is probably really difficult, but i think its important that you talk to her about it (if you havent already) and let her know how it makes you feel and ask her to stop making an effort to keep it a secret. Remember that if she is choosing to play the "stranger game" in public, it doesnt mean that you have to and if you dont it will probably become so difficult for her to keep up the secret that she will eventually just give up on it. That is a really disrespectful thing for you mom to do and i really feel for you, it is completely her issue and not yours, i hope you know that.

Wow thats a lot to handle. Im sorry you handle that.
My parents dont do that. But i think personally if they did i wouldnt want to be around them.
You should be proud of you and your daughter and how well your raising her. If she sees confidence in you, shell be confident.

That's not cool of her to do that. Have you said anything to her? I know when my daughter was born, it was in the birthing announcements in the paper and a lot of people would ask my mom, "Is that your Heather in the paper?" Huge emphasis on the "omg ... not married!" bull shit. You and your daughter don't deserve that from her. Your mom shouldn't be ashamed of you or your daughter.

My brother found out I had been pregnant when I showed up at a Holiday with a one month old and a now ex-husband. My mom was embarrassed and either didn't tell people or told me to lie about my age to family members. My grandma lives with them and she found out my younger sister was pregnant when she came home with a baby. She's 5 months pregnant again and my grandma has no idea. It is not right how your mom is acting. I would call her out on it and tell her she can be involved in your life when she is ready to accept her granddaughter and be proud of her.

what is the issue for her? i don't know if i understand. is everyone else's assumption correct, that you were young/not married when you had her?

That's just silly. In today's world most people live unmarried in long term relationships, common law marriges. Divorce has become sky high, and people are scared of it so they just don't get married. I think I would just announce it to everyone so she has no reason to hide it anymore. But that's just me.

I was kinda thinking the same thing, but I know I live in kind of a plastic bubble here in the pacific northwest.

My mom has never been taht bad but she does have some issues. She likes top tell me how hard it was for her all the time and when SO and I had a secret quickie marriage (mostly to avoid her ruining my day) she said "well I'm not gonna tell anyone right now".
Basically I just try to remind myself its her issue but its a bummer that she can't be a better person. And by the way when people find out (and they will) about you and the babe- it makes her look like an ass. When I tell people about my moms response to my wedding for instance it doesn't make me look like the "bad guy". It does however help people understand why I wouldn't want my mom at my wedding.

my mother is like that. yesterday she told me she doesnt feel like a grandmother because jayden is black and it bothers her. my mother wont even come to the park with us to play because she is so embarressed. i am so sorry you have to deal with this. it hurts and it makes me cry alot, i am here to talk if you ever need it just pm me.