I'm sorry I have no advice for you. My child will be 3.5 in September and I cannot even get him to sit on the potty or child seat. He has never even peed in the potty. I can't even get a decent start with it.
You are not a bad mother. It's ok to feel angry sometimes. Going to school is a good thing. Yes, having another baby will be a lot on your plate, but you will figure it out with time. Take whatever help is offered to you, and lower your standards for a few months until you get in the swing of things. You can do this.

Can you try reminding her about going to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so? Just ask, "A, do you need to go to the bathroom?" sometimes reminders help because they get so into whatever they are doing, they don't even think about it. Do you ask her why she thinks it's funny? Maybe it tickles? I would start telling her that she has to help clean up her mess and make her help you.
For the poop issue, can you just not have diapers on hand to give her? I mean, at some point, if she can't have a diaper, she will have to go in the toilet right? It might be hard at first, but when she asks for a diaper just say, "Nope, sorry, we're all out of diapers, I guess you will have to go on the big potty!"
You're not a shitty mother! You'll get through this. Potty training, and the age she is at, are both difficult. It gets easier, in my experience anyways.
You should definitely not be at her beck and call, it is a good thing you have started school. Sounds like you guys are just having a rough time and I'm sure being pregnant and worried about the upcoming baby is making things more stressful. Go easy on yourself.

I experienced some problems with Aidan once I started showing. You and I are only like a week or so off from each other pregnancy wise. I asked his dr and he told me its to get attention. He sorta realizes whats going on. That he wants to be the baby still. It sounds like A is doing the same thing. As for the pooping thing Ian was like that and I just had to let him do it on his own time. I did a reward system where he'd get a fruit snack every time he pooped and he got to put a sticker on the sticker chart. It took awhile but he finally did it.
And you are in NO WAY a bad mom! We all have issues with our children. Kids do good in some areas and bad in others. Its differant with every child. Don't feel bad about going to school. You are doing a good thing. You shouldn't cater to her and I've found out with my boys that doing that just makes them do it more, because they know they will get the attention to me. Being hugely pregnant right now probably isn't helping things. I know it isn't with me. I will break out it tears, over absolutely nothing and start sobbing about how it's not fair I'm sick all the time (I have an auto-immune disorder similar to lupus, and also have severe arthritis from it) and how it makes me feel like a shitty mom when Ian tells me that I never do anything with him anymore because I'm always sick and its just not fair, I cry because I'm afraid Critter is going to leave me eventually because he's sick of me always being sick and in pain. I would cry randomly about this stuff before, but its been soooo much worse being pregnant. You are a GREAT mom!!!!!!!!!! I'm here if you ever need to talk

Alright, Thanks Ladies...
Hearing this was exactly what I needed.
We have tried rewards, but maybe it's not the right ones...
She will not go for stickers, and she will not go for dark chocolate....
Which is amazing, because she'll do anything for those!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We tried 'not having diaper once' and she literally just didn't go for two days. But that was awhile ago, so maybe we should try that one again. She will poop in her panties though if she's not provided with a diaper... which is really gross. The only option there is for her to have no bottoms.
(But if thats what needs to happen then we'll have to wait until the hired men are out of the yard!!!!!!)
She laughs when I get angry.... but I have not made her clean up the mess either, so starting today... new program.
And I know she knows a baby is coming... although I think she thinks it's going to be like a crying doll. She's going to be at the birth, so we have been preparing her...
I know I can't cater to her... and I know school is a good thing.
I do think the school thing is a bit of an issue though...
I'm over committed... I'm in accelerated courses, I'm the President of Student Council, and I'm on the Admissions Commitee.... and like RIGHT NOW all that stuff is hopping.
This new course, on Prenatal Testing.... is awful.
(There are three textbook... ew.)
I have admissions interviews Tuesdays and Thursday for the next 3 weeks... all in two hour blocks... and right through when I would have gotten a break to lay down.
Wednesday I have a prenatal, which is 4 hours on the road, minus anything else.
Friday I have a SC meeting.....
Somewhere I have to finish the weeks work...
Not to mention be a mom and a wife.
I guess this is the first time I feel like I'm 'drowning' and I'm not used to it.
I'm also dreading having a baby in the middle if a Statistics Course.
I don't get time off until August 25th... and then I have till September 22nd....
But August 25th feels SOOOOOO far away.
Thanks for your help Mama's.....
You've made my day a whole bunch better already, and it's only 7am!
And Jube, I wish we lived closer, and had slower schedules!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all...you are a good mother... If you werent, this wouldnt be bothering you so much!!
Julian does that to me...he will scream and yell some days when I put him on the toilet. I concluded hes messing with me, and is doing doing the whole "I want control" song and dance. I realized the more attention I fed into him, the more he would scream and yell. He gets lots of positive attention when he goes on the potty...and it seems to have worked.
Definatly sound advice on you getting her to clean up after herself. My mom suggested I do that. I started doing that when Julian would whip toys all over the floor. Eventually he got less (messy).
I really dont think you should be at her beck and call...When little ones have you under their control like that, they tend to "abuse it". There is NOTHING WRONG with you doing what you want to do with your life!! You have such a cool future, that you are going into!!!

Hey Yabiniti, i've always thought you were an amazing women and an amazing mama. don't be so hard on yourself. potty training is tough. especially when you have so much other stuff on your plate. you got this! you'll be just fine. I like the cleaning up after herself idea. good luck!

My son is going to be 3 this month, I'm pregnant with number 2 and my son is completely not potty trained - like pees on the potty maybe once a day and has only pooped on the potty once like 2 months ago. Its difficult, but it wont last forever. I was hoping for a 6 month break from diapers before the baby comes but its totally not going to happen A new baby might actually help the situation because the older kid will see that diapers are for babies and they arent a baby now (although that could totally backfire).
Honestly, about the pooping in the diaper issue...I think I wouldnt do anything about it other than remind her thats its ok to go on the potty and mommy will help her or something. If thats what she feels comfortable doing for now, I would let her because honestly....she wont do it forever she is just waiting until she's good and ready. The reason I say this is because you mentioned that she didnt go for 2 days after you said there was no diapers...and that could be problamatic. Its pretty common for kids to decide to hold there bowels when they dont want to go potty, and that can lead to severe constipation that needs medical attention and just all around yucky stuff for a kid to deal with. Apparantly I did it when I was little but my mom was able to deal with it with a high-fiber diet and having the doctor explain that pooping is really important and you Have to do it. But I've also seen it at work a few times and its gone further and needed medical treatment. Not fun! I'm not saying that thats what will happen to your daughter, its just something to think about. Being fully potty trained is ideal, but sometimes kids need a little longer than their parents want.
I hear ya on the being overwhelmed with life bit though!! God, I wonder every day what I was thinking getting pregnant again, with all new challenges parenting an almost 3 year old...I'm like oh god I have to do this now and then AGAIN in 3 years. Ahhhh! I'm sure once the baby comes and everyone is settled, things wont seem so overwhelming. Good luck!

J WAS POTTY TRAINED FULLY BY 2 AND WHEN HE 2 TRIED TO REGRESS I MIADE HIM PUT GLOVES ON AND CLEAN UP HIS POOP AND WASH HIS PEE CLOTHES. HAVING TO WORK DIDNT LAST A LONG TIME HE STARTED GOING CONSISTANTLY AND HAVENT HAD A PROBLEM SINCE.
AT WORK SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS