I woulda gone with the backroom but I don't see and I need advice, now.
So R is someone I've been kind of seeing. L is this guy that liked or likes me ... (I posted before about this) and J and A are good friends of mine.
So, L has gotten to be not good.
He told J that the only reason R is hanging out with me is because he wants a wife and that I am clueless and R is a creep. He has been asking people about me, asking why I never hang out with me and told J that he tried being friends with me, numerous times but I wouldn't talk to him. WTFever. He told me he didn't want to be my friend anymore so I after one more meeting of trying to like, understand wtf is problem was/is ... I stopped talking to him. We hung out once at a bar and it went really well. But then the next day he texted me asking me for a sleepover, that he just wants to lay next to me and can't help. He came over that night I was really drunk and laid next to me in my bed and that fucking creeped me out and I told him to leave. Finally, after him acting like NOTHING was odd, I told him to fuck off. He has casually talked to me a few times since then ... but I've been avoiding him since then.
So I told my friend, A this. L has been going to J's apartment with whiskey, getting trashed and telling him these things. His side of how I "broke his heart" (which we never dated), the R situation, why I hang out with A alone, why I hang out with J alone, etc. I told A that this bullshit, creepy shit has been going on basically since October and that I've told L since the beginning that I just wanted to be friends and see what happens. Well, I didn't like him the way he liked me. I liked him as a friend and I told him that. He kept bringing up to me that ... a) how do you really feel about me? Do you sitll have feelings for me? (FUCK, I NEVER did.) b) I still really want to be with you, I miss you, I can't handle it ...
The fact that he told me he couldn't be my friend because he couldn't handle that is so controlling and manipulative. It is either one of those: be with me or don't type of situations. Because that's the way I want it. He kept pressuring me into shit and even though I have flirted with him and did kiss him when he tried kissing me, but held back afterwards ... it gives him no right to fucking being scary towards me. He was SO coercive towards me. Very fucking scary and I told him that. I told him he was being coecive and pressuring.
I told A this and he had NO idea. Well, the other day I find out that he has been asking J creepy questions about me. So J, A and I decided to approach him. We told him that he can't continue having any type of contact with myself or my daughter ... because he's made me really uncomfortable and because of other reasons. And if he did try to contact me, that I was going to get a restraining order against me. He said "I didn't think it was that bad ... I should leave." And left. He called J up, acting all innocent and blah blah ...
So I am not sure what is going to happen after this. I called the CVIC Crisis Line last night and went to them this morning. They gave me a stalking kit and I had J and A spend the night with me. L has shown up at my apartment without asking, granted I have asked him, as well - but I truly wanted to be his friend. But he couldn't handle that, at all.
Stupidly, I feel somewhat bad. But I have told L that I was DONE talking about "us" being together because I never wanted to and he KEPT bringing it up. I've gotten scared of him being in my hallway of my apartment buildling waiting by my door. R lived below him in a house and ended up moving out because L went fucking ballistic on him about us two hanging out.
I am not sure what is going to happen at this point. I am going to avoid him as much as I can and even though we both have the same friends, I just won't have anything to do with him ... pretty much what I have been doing since May. I am kind of freaked out and think I should get a new apartment and not tell him where it is ... obviously. But that won't happen for a while.
UPDATE:
I talked to R about this last night. He said he wasn't sure what either of us should do at this point. L and R have been friends for like, 18 years. R still really likes me and he apologized for me going through this bullshit. I told him it's not his fault. It's L's issue that L needs to fucking deal with. I don't know if L knows anything going on between R and I ... however one night while completely wasted, he was going off on J about how "R and H might hook up" and completely freaking out.
I want to purse things with R. But for understandable reasons, he wants to be cautious. I don't really care because L has fucking pissed me off so much and I plan on never talking to him again. Last night R said maybe just chill for a bit and see what happens. Which I think can be good. I just feel as though L has control of this situation and my life and I am fucking sick of controlling manipulative people in my life. I can get how R wants to remain friends with L, too. But last night he said he'd never seen anything like this from L before.
J and A don't care much if they are friends with L or not. J is really mad and feels manipulated by L because L was making it sound completely different than what was actually going on. A is more neutral, however is very supportive of me and being fair in the situation.
L and I have so many of the same friends. The past 6 weeks, if I do see L I just pretend he's not there. And I suppose that's what I may do from now on, not sure. I will avoid him as much as I can I do know for sure. My sister is in town so I wasn't alone last night. But it's scary how I have to think of this now. And I am thinking about moving (was before for different reasons) but probably should now. But I'm in a lease that doesn't end until January. Maybe this situation can be different. I don't feel safe at my apartment, really.
Eh.