Hey,
Yeah, I think your bf is being a total dink. If he is living in your household, as a memeber as the household, than it is his duty to contribute. And that dosnt just mean financially...He needs to cook, and clean, and help with the kids (regardless if they are "his" or not). You are not his maid (unless you have worked out a weekly amount that he will pay you, for all of your hard work).
Love is all great and all, but it dosnt equal hapiness. Happiness comes from a well-balanced home, where there is love and respect, and equality in a relationship. And I am sorry, but someone who treats you like their own personal maid/chef/child minder/bill payer, does not respect you in the way that a significant other should. And seriously, with the video games....If he is going to join your household, he needs to grow up, and take care of the responsibilities (and not play childish games).
Personally, i would go on strike. Dont clean up after him, definatly NEVER cook him anything, and just ignore him. If he cant contribute to the house, then he cant reap the benefits of being your significant other.
Ugghhh. I am very sorry that you have to go through that. You dont deserve that.

I think talking him about it really soon is important because you have only been living together for a short period of time, and its better to deal with any issues right off the bat than to let it go on for a long period of time. However, there seems to be alot of things that are bothering you about him right now, so maybe pick 1 or 2 things to bring up first, and save some of the other stuff for another time. I know when my SO tells me all the things that I've been doing that have pissed him off in one sitting, I usually react badly because it feels like being attacked and told I suck at everything ever, kwim? Maybe pick one thing, like the dishes and housework issue and talk about it. Try not to just let a conversation go around and around in circles, try to come up with some sort of an action plan. Maybe he can agree to do the dishes half of the time or something. Like really, it doesnt matter who does what at work, things need to be done around the house too, no matter what you do at work. And its useless to compare one person's job with another IMO because a job is a job and its always tiring.
Although ultimatums are generally nasty business, I dont think it would hurt to explain that you really dont need another person to care for, especially a grown man! If it ends up making more work for you, then really it might not be worth it to live together. You could tell him that, give him the shape up or ship out thing...but there's always a risk to those because people generally become really angry with ultimatums and it can become ugly fast. Maybe leave that for a last resort if an initial conversation doesnt work?
Good luck, beginning living together is really tough. I've been living with SO for 3 years now, and while we generally do well with division of chores stuff...its still tough to negotiate somethings. People get comfortable I think, and need to be reminded to think of the other person more.

There is definitely a lot of give and take, he helps me a ton in most other areas, and he does help a lot with the kids. Anyway, I talked to him about it, and when I got home today all the dishes were done.
As far as video games, I don't think it's really a problem. I hate them, but I'd be pissed if he told me I couldn't paint or go to open mic or one of the other things I like to do. He doesn't play that often, he just has bad timing sometimes. Anyway, things are good, and even though I get upset at times, he always listens to me and we talk without getting too worked up.
Thanks for the words. Sometimes I just need validity for my feelings.

I know how you feel. I'm really in love and generally happy with my relationship, but there are times where I could go off for days about the shit he does that pisses me off. Like today, he said he'd do things before he left for work (since he didn't help me clean yesterday.) then he calls and says "things took longer than I thought, so I didn't get anything done." It makes me want to scream. I know we're headed for one of those talks ourselves, I want to get it out before Matt comes home this weekend.
It might help to make a chart of everything that needs to get done around the house, and initial when you've done it. Then you can point out to him, in black and white, every chore that's being done by him against what's being done by you. Sometimes when they see it in writing it sinks in a little better that they're taking advantage of you.